Curtis Chan.
For the most part, it has been a rather relaxing Valentine's Day filled with roses, chocolates, and soothing lunch dates with loved ones. Or, for most of us, a quiet Single's Awareness Day filled with Netflix, ice cream, and loneliness. Whether you are in a relationship or on your own, today has been a fairly peaceful day.
Peaceful for everyone but Curtis, that is. This morning, around 11 AM, his killer accompanied an accomplice to attend the Sunday morning church session at Chinese Church in Christ. Most of the morning was spent waiting through the sermons and glued to the seat, but the killer saw an opportunity when Curtis stepped outside for a moment. Allegedly, he was on the phone to make a lunch reservation at Gyu-Kaku for a date with his girlfriend. The killer simply followed him outside and, as he was on the phone, eliminated him. Now, we could conclude that it pays to be single and that being in a relationship led to his downfall. But we know that though he has lost the game, he is definitely a winner in other regards. Happy Valentine's Day to you, sir!
Now, let us take a moment to talk about lemons (Immunity #3). We think these poor fruits get more hate than they deserve. Sure, when they're squeezed and sugared in the form of lemonade and sold by little children on front lawns, everyone loves them. But take a step back and consider these fruits in their natural, lonesome state? Everyone hates them. One lick and people's faces look as if they're being submerged in sewage.
We think that's just not fair for these poor fruits. In our campaign to teach you all compassion, we're extending our outreach program to include the lemon. Soon, we hope, you'll see that lemons are pretty sweet indeed. Until then!