Sera Choe, Sophia Meng, Masha Koubenski, Emily Orvell, Ruchi Gupta, Indu Pereira, Annie Zhu, Nicholas Wong, Weixin Ding, Aayush Gupta, Sherrie Guan, Jackie Chou, Harim Lee, Freya Liu, Evan Li, Emily Zhong, Yuval Kapilevich, Yash Joshi, Michael Liou, Eric Su, Cynthia Chang, Ankush Rayabhari, Alekhya Surepeddi, Corey Harbin, Dion Dang, Jerry Hseuh, EJ Batino.
You know how after Immunity #1 concluded, we called it a “slaughter”? Well we're going to need a new descriptive term, because that was nothing compared to today: About 10% of the original Spoons population was eliminated. Let that sink in. Wait for it... And we're back. Grab your popcorn or your pearl milk tea (but probably not both of those at the same time, because that's nasty), sit back, and enjoy the show. It was a rocky day, indeed.
First story is a heavy one. Usually we like to poke fun at the victim, but on the scale of cruelty, this definitely passes “savage” and crosses over a bit into “amoral”. At the same time, it's all been part of the game since the very beginning, so who are we to judge? During lunch, Emily Zhong was heading towards the top of the quad when she saw her killer (who she knew was her killer) pick up his/her pet rocks. Confused, she asked him/her what the deal was. Apparently, her killer claimed (in a genuinely sad-sounding voice) that he/she had just been killed by -- he/she pointed at an accomplice who was walking away from them. As the talked about it, the killer thought he/she saw Emily raise her rock, so he/she tagged her out and explained he/she was not actually dead.
They were unable to come to an agreement, so a nearby neutral onlooker asked “how high would your hands need to be in order for the rocks to be off the ground”, presumably to prove whether or not she was actually vulnerable. Before lifting her pet rocks, she turned to her killer and blatantly asked that he/she not do anything to her because she was going to raise them to settle their dispute. The killer agreed but, as soon as she lifted them, he/she killed her.
The Tricksters seemed to have a hand in this but we don't know who or how. What we do know is that members of their group have been on a roll lately, racking up a number of kills very recently. Let Emily's death serve as a warning.
Moving on, we have a few shorter and lighter stories. At lunch today, two good friends died within seconds of one another. The details are a bit foggy, but Weixin's killer trailed her all the way from class before pouncing. Seconds later, Sherrie stopped with Weixin because her leash broke off. When she bent down to pick up her rock, her killer (who coincidentally happened to be waiting nearby) swooped in. Like a vulture. We think her facial expression in this picture speaks for itself.
The parking lot was a war zone during lunch today. As I (yes, I'm referring to myself, one of the Goderators responsible for all your suffering) was sitting in a club meeting trying to give a presentation, my phone buzzed every minute or so with the words “got killed” and “in the parking lot” and “:(“ and “DUDE I'M SO SALTY RN”. Most of these kills, as far as we're aware, are fairly standard and can be represented in the fate of Evan Li. He was on his phone, so he was holding both leashes in one hand. Look what happens when you don't pay attention to your pet rocks. Hint: You die.
And today, we also have the tale of a Glass Cannon by the name of Yuval (shout-out to Dion, who was another Glass Cannon). What do we mean by this? We're referring to someone who got a kill but got killed shortly after. At brunch, his target was standing at the top of the quad scanning the area for his killer. He was EXTREMELY focused, watching every movement and looking for guilty or sly faces. In the blink of an eye, Yuval sprinted across the top of the quad, tagged his target before he could react, and kept running to who knows where. A true drive-by killing.
Unfortunately, Yuval had even more running to do, later. Since he didn't do the Immunity, after 4th period (he didn't have a 5th), he sprinted out of Dybenko's classroom towards the parking lot across campus. His killer, who was waiting outside of the classroom, had a brief “WTF” moment before racing after him. Yuval was killed as quickly as he killed.
Now, for some random things seen around campus that we just couldn't resist putting in for no reason.
Exhibit A: Pure rage. Who would do such a thing? Smashing one pet into smithereens on the ground and leaving the other one abandoned in its friend's guts. Disgusting.
Exhibit B: Neeraj Agrawal. A trooper. Think twice before you complain about an Immunity next time.
It's been a great day, truly. Thank you all for doing what you do. Keep up the good work, and we hope you will find happiness even in death (see Exhibit C below). Until next time!
