Atulya Sarogee.
Well, we will admit, we didn't think most of you would do it. Words can't describe how refreshing it was to see the class come together for one day to make fools of themselves on a public social media platform for the world to see. Plus, we certainly felt popular yesterday -- at any given time on Facebook, we each had around 20 or 30 notifications. Moments like these make us proud to be doing what we do.
Click here for a Youtube playlist of all submitted videos!
Anyway, if you remember from one of our emails after the Trump Card challenge, we wrote, “You all are having no doubt a terrific time humiliating yourselves and posting those viral video parodies to your Facebook profiles, where college admissions officers will see your true nature and subsequently reject you because of your strangeness.”
Today, we'll be analyzing a few selected videos from the perspective of a college counselor. We're going to put ourselves into the shoes of someone assessing your chances of getting into college to judge your strengths and weaknesses and hypothesize about your future. There were far too many videos for us to cover in a single article, so we'll just mention a few that piqued our interest.
Analysis: Jim. This had some seriously high production value. Like it looked it was filmed in a professional studio or something. If all the videos people submitted were equated to movies, this one would be James Cameron's Avatar (yes, the one with the blue people that you most definitely bought overpriced IMAX 3D tickets for), and everyone else's would be the Percy Jackson movies. The acting, too, was quite on point. He had poise, composure, and confidence. He was basically a duplicate of DJ Khaled... if it wasn't for the fact that three of him could fit into the actual one. And he's not a rapper.
Verdict: Go to some artsy-looking film school in LA and become the next Steven Spielberg. Forget about working a desk job as an engineer in some tech company that pays you maybe $100K starting, look for the millions and the fame. And remember us when you get there, because we'd appreciate the extra pocket change.
Analysis: Shreya. You had us at “samosas and chaat”. Talk about a breakout performance. Somehow, she transformed Sweet Brown into an overly animated, caffeinated Indian parent. Our opinions of this video changed tremendously as it went on, from “what the f***” at the beginning to “holy f***” at the end. And Nikkia, we see you body rolling in the back. We see you. (Pro-tip: Watch the video at 1.5 speed. Strange thing is, we'd actually believe it if she talked that fast.)
Verdict: Sorry, we'll get back to you on this one another time. Too busy laughing.
Analysis: Josh. One of the earlier videos submitted, this definitely set the bar high. We noticed that many of the dance moves were repeated, but we forgive you because... who can't forgive a face that derp? Music and vocals were (surprisingly) well put together and edited. This is the mark of a man who radiates confidence and doesn't care what anyone else thinks. But then again, that probably goes for anyone who submitted a video for this challenge.
Verdict: Not sure about any colleges that are looking to cash in on talent like this, but we think you may have other lucrative career options (think nightclubs). Talk to our buddy Nick Lui for more details.
Analysis: Jeffrey (Chang). Not sure if he was chanting in Swahili or trying to communicate with any dogs that might be on Facebook or Youtube watching his video. Perhaps he was gargling marbles. Perhaps his vocal cords decided to tie themselves into a knot when his camera turned on. Our best guess is that he was going for a primitive, cave-man approach to Shia LaBeouf's inspirational video. We may never know what went through his head when he made this video. He's going to need a different type of counseling after this one!
Verdict: Probably would not get accepted by most colleges. Definitely would not get into Stanford. Definitely not.