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After the world premiere of Ethan Chee Raps 2.0: The Return, a failed attempt to follow up and top the original (just like the Star Wars prequels), we want push Ethan further in the limelight and try to revive other aspects of his performing arts career. As we wait for the diss tracks to roll in (Dara, where you at?), we'll go ahead and light some kindling to kickstart the return of his commentating career -- in hopes of one day hearing him utter those famous words “THIS IS YO BOI ECHEE466” while shakily holding a crappy phone camera and running around again.
We thought about numerous ways to ignite this movement. Like creating a GoFundMe page. But ultimately, we recognized that it comes to down a matter of confidence. To deter self-criticism and instill a sense of courage in Ethan, another member of the team has gone ahead and recorded a commentary to set the bar low. Now, we must wait and see how the man decides to respond.
In the meantime, this commentary was recorded late in the evening on Friday right before TeaTop's closing time. Emily Mok, the intended target, was the victim of a botched kill. We apologize for the profuse commercial breaks -- not everyone is as professional and experienced as the original commentator himself.
The final shot of this commentary features bad cinematography due to an effort to avoid drawing attention. Basically, Emily was walking towards her car when her killer ran up behind her. The in-vehicle spectators were unable to discern whether she was holding her spoon, so the killer just went for it. It failed, and Emily didn't even flinch. She simply kept walking ahead, with a slight smirk, and shook her head SMH-style. We admire your poise, Emily. Now you just need to get a kill before the Quota kills you off. Until next time!