... ... ...
There's been a lot of talk about shows in the past few days, with the Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice immunity wreaking havoc on your week and a wonderfully-performed Silsilay behind us (and we're not just saying that because we were in it). It only seems fitting that today's cannon follows the dramatic telling of Hinten's death (yesterday) and its eerie parallel to a play we hold so close to our hearts: Hamlet.
Let's meet the cast. We have Hinten playing Claudius, his killer as the not-so-heroic Hamlet Junior, and the killer's sneaky informant as the ghost of Hamlet Senior. Onto the show!
This story starts in media res, with Hinten already partying hard at the scene of the crime the only right way to party: with the Chee family. As he watched the afternoon showing of Silsilay (whoa, a show within a show — this is basically Inception... which is another show!) with his spoon tucked away in his pocket, he joked around with Ethan, saying that it “felt really good to not have to hold a spoon all the time” and that he should do it more often. Much like Claudius, who stupidly allowed the deeply vengeful son of the man he had murdered to stick around the kingdom, this was an action Hinten would soon come to regret.
As the show drew to a close, the performers came down from stage to take pictures, merriment that Hinten cheerfully took part in. Hold onto your popcorn, because this is when things began to go wrong.
A sly ghost of a Spooner was drifting around the auditorium, not drawing too much attention because she had already been killed and seemed harmless. However, this ghost was actually passing on information of Hinten's every move, telling the killer of his vulnerability. Remind you of anyone? Perhaps a certain dead father, urging his son to take action? Anyways, this was when the killer decided to strike, jumping between performers and over auditorium seats, basically channeling his/her inner Hamlet during that sickass duel with Laertes.
Once he/she got to Hinten, the killer spoke a few words of (probably insincere) apology before placing the sticker of death on the fallen king's shoulder. The auditorium held a moment of silence for the dead for about 5 seconds, after which basically all hell broke loose. I mean, who's gonna run Denmark now? WHERE IS FORTINBRAS??? AHHHHHhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Aaaaaand thus this play concludes, ambiguously and anti-climactically like basically all our lit books TBH.
For all the underclassmen reading this cannon, who probably have no idea what's going on: Hamlet dies. You're welcome. Until next time!