Joy Hsu, Sana Sharfuddin, Moemyint Sandar, Rebecca Lee, Maggie Chou, Natasha Nema, Esther Kao, Adish Jain.
One of Kenny Iams' statistics tests. Malaria. Ethan's hair after a hot shower. The smell of the locker rooms after a soccer game. Ethan's hair in general. The cost of Chipotle's guacamole. Your grades this semester. The prospect of you finding a date to Senior Prom. What do these all have in common?
They're all a lot scarier than you lot of Ghosts. You all were some of the tamest dead spirits we've ever seen (actually though). When we sent those emails out to each of you, we were so excited because we saw something in your lifeless eyes. We saw a spark of energy, a genuine desire to seek vengeance. Some of you put together group chats and email chains, and some of you even plotted together to surround your victim's classroom after school to block off all exits until he/she decided to surrender.
Ironically, even though there were 215 of you Ghosts and only 50 Spooners remaining in the game (at the start of the day), all 8 kills so far were completed by players still in the game. That means you Ghosts accomplished... One second, doing some calculations... Nothing -- 0% of the day's kills, in fact! When we strolled around campus hoping to admire the assortment of brown paper bags being worn, we didn't see much either. It's as if you all vanished!
All of this information tells that you are some rather ineffective albeit realistic Ghosts. We do appreciate the paranoia that our Spooners felt upon realizing that they had maybe 12 or 16 people who were potentially tracking them down like prey. Perhaps revenge simply doesn't run in your blood. Can you imagine how Hamlet would be like if one of you was the protagonist instead?
Now, many of you have been wondering about the number of players left in the game (42). With exactly a week until the next Immunity -- give or take a day -- many of you have been asking, “Well, Goderators, how are 30 or 40 of us going to die in the one Immunity left?” Contrary to popular belief, we actually do know what we're doing and we do have a plan in mind. In fact, we've had this plan since before Spoons even started, and everything is right on track. The truth is that this last Immunity is not really an “Immunity” and that it doesn't matter how many people we have left going into Friday. Think of it as a sort of funnel or filter. No matter how many people we have right now, once we're done with you all there will be the exact number we want for the Finale. Unless we have seriously mispredicted human nature and the psychology of a Spooner.
Hold that thought for a second. We were so busy calling you Ghosts out for being ineffective that we forgot to address the fact that there were a decent amount of kills today by the much more effective (and lively) Spooners.
First, we have the unfortunate case of Adish. This is the closest we got today to a Ghost-kill. The person who ended up killing Adish had no intention. He/she simply decided to go to the track meet in the late afternoon to “see if [he/she] could pick off any noobs” in the vicinity. He/she saw Adish walking over without his Immunity items. But when he/she tagged Adish out, Adish became very confused. To this hour, we still don't know what happened. We're not sure they do either. Apparently, Adish told his killer that he had been killed earlier in the day by Joanne, so he thought he was dead already. Flaws with that scenario? She's been dead for weeks, and she was not one of his Ghosts either. We have no idea if Adish is tripping, or if he's telling the crazy truth nobody will believe. In this realm of much uncertainty, only a few things are certain. He's dead. And we definitely don't believe that crazy talk about Joanne. Pft.
Second, we have the story of Natasha. If she has learned one thing from this game, it is to literally trust no one. She received questionable intel from a friend about L-Factor being a safe zone at the top of quad and decided to believe it. She unfortunately did not check the safe zones list, and failed to realize that she was a sitting duck at the top of the quad. Natasha made it through the entire first round of auditions, only to be stickered in the back as she left the stage to reunite with her vacuum. A sad way to go this late in the game.
This final story did not result in a kill, but perhaps created something better: a bumbling, begging Ajit. Of course he left the house without his immunity items, and after realizing his ride home was with a Goderator and a live Spooner wearing the proper immunity items, we saw the full extent to his begging and watched as his dignity slowly seeped away. We will let this video speak for itself (and Ajit speak for himself):
Anyway, enjoy your last two days of quiet Spoons (Wednesday and Thursday) because it gets intense from here on out. Breath in. Breath out. We know we say this often, but this time we literally mean every SINGLE day from Friday until the end of Spoons is going to be hectic. If you choose to make the most of them, that is. Tune in tomorrow here on The Daily Cannon to get a very tangible taste of that Immunity. Development has been completed, and we're ready to launch a new breed of blog posts. Just one though. Takes literal days to make. Until then!